In article <AroEe.3998$>,
says...
> July 23, 2005
>
> New Version of Windows Coming in '06
>
> By LAURIE J. FLYNN
>
> Microsoft said yesterday that the new version of its Windows operating
> system would be named Vista and available for commercial release in late
> 2006.
<snippety>
With a nod to David Letterman, the creator of the Original Top Ten
List, it is with great pleasure that I present...
TOP TEN NEW FEATURES IN WINDOWS VISTA
(10) Minimum system requirements include 8GB of RAM and 1 Terabyte
of disk space. You'll have about 100MB of disk, and 640K of RAM, left
for apps and data. After all, "640K should be enough for anyone..."
(9) Won't let you copy a DVD or CD until you feed your credit card
to the permanently-attached, and RIAA/MPAA-sealed, card reader (optional
cash-collection unit available, armored-car pickups provided at no
additional charge).
(8) Special back door lets any official of Homeland Security or
the NSA capture or erase your hard drive contents at will (including
pr0n).
(7) During initial installation, it offers you a special deal to
save 10% off the total cost of the first five "service packs."
(6) Will install on laptops, but requires an 'External Storage
Unit' to accomodate the necessary disk space. A medium-size backpack
should do the trick...
(5) Airport X-ray of laptop with Vista installed will show the
Windows logo on the monitor, superimposed over the system's guts.
(4) When you try and visit a web site based on open-source
software, displays instead an unremovable message saying "I Am The
Light, The Life, and The Way. No One Cometh Unto The Glory of Ballmer
and Bill But Buy Me."
(3) IE finally given its proper name, officially: "Internet
Exploiter."
(2) Clippy and 'Bob' are both back. In camo. With AR-15's. Try
turning them off THIS time, and see what happens!
And the #1 new feature (insert kazoo fanfare)...
(1) Three words: Monthly Subscription Fee.
> The name was chosen after eight months of research and focus groups
> because it "captures the idea of clarity," the company said.
Oh, I have perfect clarity about this. I know, beyond any doubt,
that I'm going to be sticking with 2000 Pro on my workstations, NetBSD
for my Internet servers, and NT 4.0 for my two (and only) Windows-based
servers.
> ...Windows runs on more than 90 percent of the world's computers...
You know, they're absolutely right. Windows is capable of running
on 90%-plus of the world's computers.
Now, whether that same figure applies to people ACTUALLY running
it is another question... ;-)
> process of external testing. It also signals the beginning of what will
> certainly be an expensive marketing campaign.
One that I will have to capture a video of, make a few
"modifications," and show it to some of my fellow *nix and open-source
folk.
> Windows, he said, "will help the whole Microsoft and Windows ecosystem."
I worry when people start declaring that Microsoft and Windows
make up an "ecosystem..."
> Among Vista's features are new ways to organize information and connect
> to other devices. In Vista, for example, the icons used to represent
> files will be tiny snapshots of the actual files - a photo or a letter,
> for example - rather than a generic graphic.
Whoop-dee-flippety-doo... And current OS's can't do all of this?
Come on!
> intuitive for people to organize their data." Mr. Goldberg said the
> program would also include better protection against viruses and spyware.
Except for Claria, of course, and any other spyware/adware firms
that 'Uncle Fester' Ballmer and Cousin Bill decide to buy up.
> scheduled to reach consumers in the last half of 2006. Many industry
> analysts expect Microsoft to release the product in time for the holiday
Uh oh... Heard that before! Wonder if they'll miss... again!
Keep the peace(es).
--
Dr. Anton T. Squeegee, Director, Dutch Surrealist Plumbing Institute.
(Known to some as Bruce Lane, ARS KC7GR,
kyrrin (a/t) bluefeathertech[d=o=t]calm --
www.bluefeathertech.com
"If Salvador Dali had owned a computer, would it have been equipped
with surreal ports?"